Morning Huddle
Commissioner's Corner
To the common-people of the league:
“Man I hope Jerry Jeudy goes off tonight”
I forgot to hope for Njoku to Nchoku as well.
Oh well. Someone beat Scumps next week please dear god - oh no he’s playing Pete. Commish might have to turn on god mode and adjust his schedule.
In other news, baby hedgehogs are called hoglets. Thought that was pretty cute.
God bless America,
Commish.
Tears and Jeers
Tears
“Fuck me” - Bryce
“Pete when it doesn’t matter if he wins today” - Pete
“Not right now BEEF” - Eric
“I fucking hate fantasy football” - Bryce
Jeers
“Now you can buy a super nice ladder“ - Pete
“In my perfect world, a rift in the space time continuum opens, OSU and U of M are cast to the shadow realms of the universe, and MSU is sucked back to 2012 and Dantonio is given a special eternal youth and love of MSU football. Also the Marshall guys didn’t die in the plane crash.” - Bryce
“Caleb wanted to go eat, fuck overtime” - Con
“Thanks for ruining my brother with Asperger’s Thanksgiving, this is his Christmas“ - Pete
Power Rankings with Branden Knorr
Team | Power Ranking of Team (But I'm depressed because MSU isn't bowl eligible and Jonathan Smith sucks) | Your team as a IASIP meme |
Daddy | Daddy Joe is starting to scare the people in this league and that's why I think his team deserves the top spot. I heard they don't even ask how you want your ass whooped... they just grab the studded belt and start spanking. I think they solo clear the field and then teabag the corpses that they left behind. |  |
Scumper's Thumpers | CHIIIIIILLLL Scraps, why you gotta go so hard like that?? Good starting lineup output and bench turnout as well. This team is approaching it's peak at the right time, I could see them making a deep run, but there's one thing standing in their way... Peter Harlan who loves the taste of virgin blood and to play spoiler for potential playoff teams. If they're able to advance then Scraps and his roster is golden like Ponyboy and The Outsiders |  |
Je Ne Saquon | Bumping this Philly version of French onion soup down a few spots as they put up a dud against Pete and the Cumbacks. I don't think this loss reflects what the Je Ne Saquon roster is actually capable of. they'll be back and ready for the playoffs as Zach has been there before. |  |
Fuck Peter Harlan Mau | There's a special place in fantasy football hell for Kyle Pitts and Kirk Cousins or maybe Beef just thinks there should be one. This roster outputs consistent points and has a bit more depth then some of the other playoff teams so I think this is just a bump in the road. They'll definitely win this week for all of you worried about Tommy DeVito playing and Branden's losing streak being in jeopardy. |  |
Diggs 4 Puka Shells | Bumping Eric down a smidge due to his loss to Bryce and when looking at his roster I see a good amount of players Out indefinitely. This team is yoffs bound and that's all that matters. If I'm not mistaken they also has a first week bye locked up and that'll be essential to letting some of these players get healthy. So take off those sandals and let's start walking the beach looking for those Puka Shells you're always talking about. |  |
Diddler | Bryce was gonna get a big ole boost with a good old fashioned diddling of his cousin, but with the bombshell news of CMC and Mason I'm going to leave him where he's at. There's some questions we want answered with new additions to his team. Will they fit the culture? Are they able to help Bryce win it all? What do they do when Bryce sprays baby oil on their bodies after a loss??? Time will tell. |  |
Milky Cream Dream Team | Good scoring output from Con this week, but when Daddy Joe gives you a whooping he SPANKS HARD. Some more consistent outputs from the WR/Flex positions on this team is what we'll be looking for if they aim to make a playoff run. |  |
Squirtn Manning | And Squirt pulls out a squeaker... that sounds like an OnlyFans title. He's still alive, and there's a path for him to the yoffs if he can navigate it correctly. I feel indifferent about how this current roster is set up, but I feel like if they make the playoffs or the TB playoffs then both situations will be a first round exit. |  |
The Cumbacks | UGH I slept on this Pete's couch for half of the week and he must've used some contraption to suck out all of the remnants of good fantasy energy I had. They say that Peter uses this tool on all his closest friends at some point so I guess I'm flattered. Peter's squad is actually pretty solid if he can start the right cocktail of players. There's no chance he goes to the TB championship. Good win this week Pete enjoy space jamming someone else's fantasy energy now that I'm gone. |  |
Dictator Dean | Welcome to the MUCK Bubba. It's a familiar smell and feel right? That's because you never really left the muck bottom. We all just wanted to get your hopes up so you'd think there was a chance to make the yoffs, but you were destined for better things... THE TOILET BOWL. Dean had a solid output with his roster this week, but ran against a solid squad. There was actually probably a chance for him to win if TLaw didn't get have to go back and pick up his teeth from the turf. |  |
Default Team Name | Some major BOOMAGE coming from Uncle Crut and his roster last week. I really thought there was a shot for the Hiff Clangers when Crit started Romeo Doubs who was ruled out and 3 other players scored below 9 FP, but alas, someone let Russ cook and my team lost. THAT SHOULD BE ME DANCING WITH CIARA. |  |
Hiff Clangers | Cum dumpster of a team. It just feels like I'm in a Bonnie Blue video but I'm not any of the lucky 100 guys... I'm Bonnie. This is starting to get mentally draining like yayyyyyy I'm sooooo excited for next week when Beef comes to town as lucky guy #14 WOOOO. At least Crit at some pineapple before he came and clapped my cheeks. Time to gear back up for one last regular season rodeo. |  |
Playoff Primer
It's Between three teams for the last
playoff spot
Team | Needs |
Milky Cream |
|
Scumper's Thumpers |
|
Squirtin' Manning |
|
Crit's Thoughts
Just feels good to win one.
Guest Picker: Yoda
Diggs 4 Puka Shells (10-3) Vs. Daddy (8-5)
Hmm, clash of titans, this is. On one side, Diggs 4 Puka Shells, strong record they have, but Baker, hmm, questionable he is. On the other, Daddy, with Josh Allen, a cannon for an arm, and weapons fast as lightspeed—Achane and Gibbs, unstoppable they seem. Hmm, dark times for Puka Shells, I sense. Victory, Daddy claims, 157 to 135, hmmm, yes.
Diggs 4 Puka Shells Vs. Daddy
0%Diggs 4 Puka Shells
0%Daddy
Diddler (8-5) Vs.. Milky Cream Dream Team (7-6)
Hmm, a battle this is, yes. Diddler brings Joe Burrow and Ja’Marr Chase, a Bengal duo dangerous as a Sith Lord with a grudge. But Milky Cream Dreamz wields Bryce Young and Calvin Ridley—younglings, they seem, yet capable of surprise strikes. Aaron Jones and CeeDee Lamb, strong for Diddler, much trouble they will cause. Advantage, Diddler, I see. Victory, 130 to 110.
Diddler Vs. Milky Cream Dream Team
0%Diddler
0%Milky Cream Dream Team
Deanith (4-9) Vs. Je Ne Saquon (9-4)
Underdog, Deanith is. With Sam Darnold at the helm, hmm, shaky his path appears. On the other hand, Je Ne Saquon, led by Justin Herbert and Saquon Barkley, balanced and powerful they are. Kamara may fight valiantly for Deanith, but Kupp and Conner of Je Ne Saquon, too much they will be. Victory, Je Ne Saquon, 125 to 115.
Predict the games, I shall. Close battles, these will be.
Deanith Vs. Je Ne Saquon
0%Deanith
0%Je Ne Saquon
Squirtin' Manning (7-6) Vs. Raise Hell Praise Dale (4-9)
Squirtn’ Manning against Raise Hell Praise Dale—mighty Patrick Mahomes, lead his team he must, or fall, they will. Balanced, the force is, but the edge to Manning goes, hmm!
Squirtin' Manning Vs. Raise Hell Praise Dale
0%Squirtin' Manning
0%Raise Hell Praise Dale
Chris Cuckface Spray (9-4) Vs. Hiff Clangers (0-13)
Chris Cuckface faces Hiff Clangers. DeVito, out he is, and Purdy strong he plays. Yet, destiny favors the underdog, perhaps? Intriguing this one shall be.
Chris Cuckface Spray Vs. Hiff Clangers
0%Chris Cuckface Spray
0%Hiff Clangers
Scumper's Thumpers (7-6) Vs. Cumbacks (5-8)
Scumper’s Thumpers against Cumbacks—Jalen Hurts, unstoppable he seems. A victory in the stars for Scumper, I foresee. Predict, I do; the games, may they surprise.
Scumper's Thumpers Vs. Cumbacks
0%Scumper's Thumpers
0%Cumbacks
Play, they must. Predict, we can. Certain, the future is not. Hmmmm.
Fantasy Meme of the Week
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