Newsletter Week 10
- Nicholas Vichinsky
- Nov 4
- 3 min read
Morning Huddle
As the Demon Star starts to implode, chaos ensues. One hero, Nick V, runs with his group of misfits (Jaxson Dart, Josh Downs, and George Kittle) to the Summit Eagle. As the heroes attempt to board, Nick remembers to old wizard who got him on this adventure. He looks around in hopes that he's not far behind. Kittle yells in solidarity.
Across the landing platform, behind a sealed door, Jacoby-Wan sits with his light sword on. He sits in the shadow of the menacing Darth Caleb Williams with his weaponarized painted nails.
You can't win he mutters. He looks at the hero in the distance.
Caleb gives a smug nod. He strikes, and Jacoby disappears.
Caleb hears through the force, "I will become more powerful than you can imagine."
With that, the hero screams and gets pulled in the Eagle by his friend Kittle. It is a victory, a moral one for our hero.
Commissioner's Corner
The following is an excerpt from The Kings Speech verbatim as from the movie.
Lionel Dean: Do you know the f-word?
King Zach VI: F... f... fornication?
Lionel Dean: Oh, Zachary.
King Zach VI: Fuck. Fuck! Fuck, fuck, fuck and fuck! Fuck, fuck and bugger! Bugger, bugger, buggerty buggerty buggerty, fuck, fuck, arse!
Lionel Dean: Yes...
King Zach VI: Balls, balls...
Lionel Dean: ...you see, not a hesitation!
King Zach VI: ...fuckity, shit, shit, fuck and willy. Willy, shit and fuck and... tits.
Another terrible week on anytime TDs. Still paused on metrics. Do Better.
PS:
I was doing some math since my trade with Pete, where I gave Gibbs/Mclaurin for Kyren/Pickens in week 6 that everyone cried fleece over, and here are the points since week 6:
Gibbs: 51.1 points
Mclaurin: 13.9 points
Kyren: 48.1 points
Pickens: 67.7 points
Total difference: Dean +50.8 points since week 6
And you might say, but Dean McLaurin was hurt! And Dean Ceedee is back now! Yes. And McLaurin is averaging 8.2 ppg for the whole season, where Pickens is averaging 12.46 ppg just looking at just the past 3 games since Ceedee has been back.
That’s 4.26 more ppg even with Ceedee back.
What I honor than makes up for the 3-point deficit between Gibbs and Kyren.
Anyways, the whole point of this is to say frick you, Pete, and all of you Gibbs worshipping cuck lords.
Commish
Tears and Jeers
Tears
I hate fantasy football - Branden
Just forget I even said anything I thought you guys would like it - Pete
Tyrone Tracy playing like he’s worth 90 FAAB - Bryce
Jeers
How about that Brittain Brown Scumps?? - Branden
And I’m going to lose to crit this is torture - Pete
Hey I think it’s on ESPN - Chris
Power Clangings
Dear Jill
Petey’s Playoff Prediction
PETEY PLAYOFF PICKS
1 SEED SCUMPS
2 SEED PETE
3 SEED VS 6 SEED
Nick S VS Crit
4 SEED VS 5 SEED
Joey vs Con
NEXT ROUND
SCUMPS VS SQUIRT
PETE VS Joey
FINALS
Pete Vs Scumps
CHAMPION
PETE
Fantasy Villain
Villain of the Week: Week 9
I’m gonna keep it short and simple this week, the Arizona cardinals coaching staff are the villains. All week they report that Bam is the starting running back just for Demercado to get the main role in Monday night football. They suck, my fantasy team sucks. I’m tired of losing. But anyways, that’s the villain of the week. Oh, and geno on my bench going off for 28 is pretty fitting too.
Fantasy Court with Judge Jeudy
Grumbles with old man Maurer
1. Injuries, injuries, and more injuries
2. We need more IR slots
3. Brock Bowers having a record game after I’ve traded him away
4. J.J. mother fucking McCarthy
5. Jonathan Smith still being employed by MSU
Xoxo
Old Man Maurer
Matchup Picker
Orenthal James Simpson v The Underachievers
0%OJ Simpson
0%The Underachievers
Squirtin Manning v Diddler
0%Squirtin Manning
0%Diddler
Cavinder Boobs are Back v Scumper’s Thumpers
0%Cavinder Boobs
0%Scumpers Thumpers
Daddy v Tylenol Bandits
0%Daddy
0%Tylenol Bandits
Deanith v Hiff Clangers
0%Deanith
0%Hiff Calngers
Big Kupp Hunters v Milky Cream Dream Team
0%Big Kupp Hunters
0%Milky Cream
FANTASY meme of the week
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