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  • Writer's pictureChristopher Spray

News in Brief

Temperatures continue to rise globally, however ‘the heat is no match for our HVAC system’ says White House Rep

Global warming has been on our radar for over a year now, and is now lobbying to be one of the greatest danger to humanity. We sent our top reporter Larry Colby to the White House for an inside touch on what they are cooking up for policy.

‘Well Larry, we really don’t have a need to worry about anything like this quite yet, as the heat is no match for our HVAC system.’ Said White House Press Secretary Maleigh KcEnany.

When asked what the big man is doing for the rest of the country in this time of need, the response was very straightforward. ‘Well I’d say there is roughly a 1:30 chance that the big man himself will step up to the plate on this one, as you can imagine he does have a whole lot going on at the moment with the general… erm…  political climate and all that’.

When asked to summarize what impact global warming left on him, KcEnany suddenly received a ‘call of great importance, from the Ambassador of ESPN, leaving us with a nod and final statement of

‘Once the seasons change up again in the winter this year, everything will be right back to normal.’

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