Morning Huddle
We sit in traffic, we are the traffic, we take long poop breaks, we wake up early to run. We hustle to pay the bills, to kiss our child, to not lose ourselves in the mirror. We have gained weight, it's a little harder to touch our toes, we hear old men argue over how to make the world worse. We turn off the TVs at 8:30 because, "there's nothing else to watch" We pretend that it's okay, for 180 days. But today... today in dystopia marks the week football starts. The sun cracks through through the smog a little brighter. Birds chirp for the first time all summer. We have something to research and read as we wake up to a bright green icon next to our players. Traffic is bearable because of our sports-betting podcasts. It smells like shit today, but hey, fantasy football starts today.
Commissioner's Corner
Well, cock & balls, we are SO back.
As a re-introduction, I am your widely hated for reasons unknown, yet somehow re-elected Commissioner, Dean Spray. Thank you for having me back this season - I am here to serve.
We kicked this season off with a ‘whelming’ event at BDUBS bar and grill - thank you to all who joined! I hope Bryce still has his Matt Gay sticker on his phone.
I think all in all this is the most ‘fair’ draft we have seen in many years here at the NFFL. Some may say Brandon did NOT have the best draft, finally. Thank god, that guy stinks. Joe is already looking like MVP, despite not being willing to pay 99 cents for a polls app. Scumps is already being too nice to too many people about the outlook of their shit teams. Squirt Sowell is also looking lean mean and dangerous this year, despite leaving his cunt in the sink. Harlan the Marlin’s team looks like literal dog shit mixed with cat heat, classic. Bryce Maurer also with a nice draft for once!
The commissioner's prediction is that either Bryce, Squirt, or Joe will take the W this year.
Hope everyone has a fun season, love you all, and thanks for continuing to make this league the example of what a bunch of aging men should look forward to every year.
The time for football… is Nigh.
Team Outlook
Diggs 4 Puka Shells
Papa Ric looks to break through this year with a relatively solid squad. By far his biggest strength is his running back core anchored by Josh Jacobs and Bijan Robinson his team mixes upside with experience. The team falls relatively short in two categories: WR and QB. Puka anchors these groups but with Diggs and Smith-Nijgba in nebulous WR rooms it's hard to predict where these will land. In a super-flex both QBs could be really good or really bad. Vibes are bad for the Jets and Baker lost his OC that made him and Geno successful the past two years.
Milky Cream Dream Team
Conor's team looks relevant but not super. I love the JT and White pick. Jackson has potential to be the #1 QB, with a stack with his #1 WR potent weeks are going to happen. I do love the potential of Ridley on the Titans but there's still a lot of questions on that depth chart. It's hard to gauge the success of this team as many things could go wrong. However, I do see a path to a top 5 team as well.
Pacheck it Out!
I think Pacheco was a great pick for a guy like Bryce. Safe and reliable. You combine this with an aged Kamara who will get dump offs, they look to be steady at RB. The Burrow and Chase stack will be deadly... if Chase resigns and I LOVE Mclaurin this year in a new offense looking to feature him. Goff might be the fantasy MVP with 80% of his games being played in domes. Picking a weakness would probably be the depth and RB and WR. While the starters are solid, what's behind shows a fragile balance.
Daddy
I think most people were surprised by the draft performance of Joe. In a superflex, having Josh Allen and Matthew Stafford as your QBs you should be in good company atop the rankings, but then you add Achane, AJ Brown which is atop the NFL's "boom" potential it's looking pretty deadly. The well roundedness continues with Kelce as a TE. The weakness, if I were to pick something, would be the WRs. DJ Moore had a great season last year but with a rookie QB and a packed WR room the outcomes could range from WR3 to a top tier. This is echoed with Godwin as his window of relevancy could have easily passed.
Le Squirtlocker
For the most part, I love the construction of Nick's roster. Breece Hall and a stacked WR core makes it hard to not notice. If Rice is the WR1 in KC he might be the best pick in the draft and word on the street is that Olave is looking to prove his dominance. Hall, while talented, might struggle with the same problems as last year, a bad oline and a QB not known for check downs. I do love the upside of Richardson and Daniels but having two rookies as starting QBs in fantasy opens you to a wide range of outcomes.
Hiff Clangers
I was a little underwhelmed at the draft Brando had. I did like this team better with McCaffery but with the Madden curse in the horizon it may be the trade to change the league. That being said, the strength of this team lies in the young WRs and QBs. I love Nabers, Wilson, and Pickens as they will all be hyper-targeted in their offenses. Kincaid, has the opportunity to be the primary receiver for one of the best QBs in the NFL. On top of this you have a potential comeback player of the year in Kyler Murray and a rising star in Jordan Love. I think there's great potential outside of the RB room.
Fuck Chris Spray
It was surprising that Beadle showed up the to draft seemingly prepared. For the first time in a while, at the start of the year, Beadle looks like a competitor. He has a stacked WR group. Justin Jefferson, Amon Ra, and Tank Dell might be the best WR room in the league. You add to that with Walker and Henry who will get the majority of touches on their teams it is seemingly balanced. While Pitts has been a disappointment he has huge upside this year. I would say QB is the weakness here. Herbert is looking for a bounceback but I do expect the Chargers to run to ball a lot. While Caleb flashes, he is still a rookie.
The Personal Fowls
It was another confusing draft for Crit. Mahomes was a solid first pick but every other pick felt underwhelming. M. Harrison was being drafted at his absolute ceiling (WR8). Puka, who broke all the rookie records last year, finished as the WR7. That means Harrison would have to do what Puka did to return on his ADP. Pittman is dealing (basically) a rookie QB Richardson who has not been accurate in the games played. Cook looks to be a good pick if he can hold on to the ball and Monty would be a league winner if Gibbs' hamstring gets re-injured. Poor guy drafted 3 TEs again.
Fight'n GameCucks
GameCucks look to repeat their first championship. However, this might be difficult. Washed would be the adjective I would use to describe the team. Mike Evans and Keenan Allen would be on the all old man team. While Evans will be the primary receiver his success depends on Baker who lost an OC who fixed Geno Smith - regression occurred after his left for Geno too. Mark Andrews helps but again is approaching a fragile age that increases an already injury prone player. McCaffery is a bright spot but the Madden curse looms. Overall, the team success depends on a lot of injury prone players saying healthy.
Screamin' Mean Queen
The strength of this team is the WRs. Lamb looks for a repeat year on a new contract, Nico Collins will sustain dominance on the Texans, and Christian Kirk is a WR1 for Trevor Lawrence - who is stacked on this roster. Gibbs could end as the RB1 but coming into the year injured is a bit scary. The QBs are nice but lack a lot of upside. I believe this is a solid roster that lacks upside to run the table.
Heading for the Hills
I think this is another competitive roster. Two workhorse RBs and proven players at WR help balance this team. Adams has historically been good but the question marks at QB make it hard to see a path to a high end WR - although Minshew did help Pittman to his best finish last year. This roster is a hurt a little bit at QB. Kirk has historically been fine but is coming off an old man Achilles injury and Bryce Young looked terrible last year. If they both can have a historic year this team will be scary.
Power Rankings
Daddy
Fuck Chris Spray
Le Squirtlocker
Hiff Clangers
Pacheck it Out
6. Heading for the Hills
7. Scumper's Thumpers
8. Fight'n GameCucks
9. Milky Cream Dream Team
10. Screamin' Mean Dean
11. Diggs 4 Puka Shells
12. The Personal Fowls
Playoff Prediction
Nick V
Pete's Pecker
College Picks:
-Travis Hunter Anytime
INSIGHT: This is going to be a hit every week so get on now, think of CMC streak last year, if Colorado scores it will be Hunter
-Texas -6.5
INSIGHT: Michigan is not where they should be at this moment and Texas is farther ahead, Texas pulls away in the 2nd quarter and it’s all cash for the boys from there.
TENN ML
INSIGHT: Tenn may have a Heisman QB and NC State looked rough against an FCS
team last weekend, Tenn wins big
NFL Picks:
-CMC anytime
INSIGHT: see last season.
-Cowboys +2.5
INSIGHT: Cowboys beat the Browns by a field goal, Deshaun looks bad and the cowboys defence eats him up.
-Tampa ML
INSIGHT: Jayden Daniel’s has some rookie mistakes and game is too fast to start off
for him, Tampa executed on the mistakes and walk away from this one by 10 points
Crit's Thoughts
"The league is upon us, nothing is guaranteed, except for my spot in the toilet bowl."
Weekly Picks: With Guest Picker Nick V
Diggs 4 Puka Shells v. Milky Cream Dream Team
An interesting first match up. While I love Eric's RBs, I believe the overall roster favors Con. I think LaPorta, JT, and Lamar carry. I think Waddle and Ridley outweigh Diggs and Nijgba. Con wins.
Diggs 4 Puka Shells v. Milky Cream Dream Team
0%Diggs 4 Puka Shells
0%Milky Cream Dream Team
⭐️GotW: Pacheck It Out v. Daddy
I assigned this game the Game of the Week. Both rosters I really like this year and I think they both ahve a chance to go the distance. Daddy's upside is the best in the league while I think Pacheck balances upside and safety. I do think Jamar doesn't play in this game. For this reason I think AJ Brown turns the tide of the game. Daddy Wins.
Pacheck It Out v. Daddy
0%Pacheck It Out
0%Daddy
Le Squirtlocker v. Hiff Clangers
Another great game. I think Nick's Roster Is more proven and his RBs I like a bit more than Bando's, but I think Brando wins this one. His WRs are all young primary targets. While they haven't proven anything yet, if they consume the targets on their respecitve teams everything else on the roster outweighs Nick. Kincaid > Ferguson, Aiyuk > Cooper, Murray > Daniels. Brando wins.
Le Squirtlocker v. Hiff Clangers
0%Le Squirtlocker
0%Hiff Clangers
Fuck Chris Spray v. Personal Fowls
Both had their best draft in a long time, unfortunately, Beadle smoked Crit when it came to relevancy. Justin Jefferson, Amon Ra, Tank Dell, Pitts, Henry, Walker is a dream roster. Beadle to the moon.
Fuck Chris Spray v. Personal Fowls
0%Fuck Chris Spray
0%Personal Fowls
Fight'n GameCucks v. Screamin' Mean Dean
Hard one to pick, these teams both have mid-tier potential. Pete's team looks like a retirement home (thanks for the joke Nick S) and his running backs - outside of McCaffery - are a bunch of JAGs (Just a guy). I do think Pete's QBs have higher potential than Dean. However, I do like the make up of Dean's team overall. Lamb, Collins, and Gibbs takes it.
Fight'n GameCucks v. Screamin' Mean Dean
0%Fight'n GameCucks
0%Screamin' Mean Dean
Scumper's Thumpers v. Heading for the Hills
Zach's RBs are far and away better than the Thumpers - especially now that Williams is returning punts (gulp). While Thumpers' Receivers have boom/ bust potential, Zach is anchored by Tyreek. I do believe this game, in some respects, come down to QB2 and terrible TE play. Because Taysom is known for goose eggs and who knows how Watson will do, my pick Is Zach in a close one.
Scumper's Thumpers v. Heading for the Hills
0%Scumper's Thumpers
0%Heading for the Hills
Fantasy Memes
The Fantasy Football season approaching...
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