Morning Huddle
In the world between worlds, the league sits on suspension of decisions. The world is deathly quiet and cold. They all see their breath. Their animated eyes look desperately for reason but there is none, just each other in a moment of amber - their body is frozen as if in a board game statue.
An echoing voice from above, “I want to play a game.” The voice is deep and it’s muffled.
They look around and feel their souls tremble.
“You!” Branden starts to float away. His pose stuck in a cool nonchalance. “Not you.” Instantaneously Branden flies off into the darkness like a Super Smash Bros character.
They all start to feel the feeling of fear suffocate them. They wait again in silence.
“Not you either.”
Suddenly, Pete in a crop top “Vote Pedro” shirt was compressed into a ball, and Chris, posed on a toilet, shatters into a million pieces.
In his head, Crit knows what’s coming. “Mercy is for the week” the voice echoed. So, in torture unlike those of the first few Crit and Nick were cast to slowly float away from the group in isolation.
“As for the rest of you…” the voice boomed, “Goodluck”
A tear dropped from Joe’s eye. He wishes the torture was over.
Commissioner's Corner
I'm sick as a dog.
Cheers,
Commish
Tears and Jeers
Tears
"You should rename your team "Harris/Walz" because you just lost big to a dirty beast" - Bryce
"Please dear lord and savior Bug Cock Jesus, allow Nico to grace the field this evening with his almost equal cock and large balls." - Chris
"Words can't hurt me I'm 0-9" - Branden
"0-10" - Chris
Jeers
"Lamar Jackson to the Falcons" - Crit
"No, the cumbacks are dog shit" - Penis
"I might score 0 points today." - Nick S
"Plot twist neither one of you will be #1 in the power rankings next week." - Branden
Power Rankings by Branden Knorr
Team | Power Ranking of Team (But I'm depressed because power rankings don't matter thanks Beef) |
Diggs 4 Puka Shells | This team could win it all just gotta stay the course. |
Fuck Peter Harlan Mau | Unfortunate loss for this team in a rivalry game against Ric. I think this team will bounce back this week, and I am giving you all the Branden Knorr guarantee that this team will win a title this year. I mean it's crazy that Derrick Henry's body is holding up as well as it is this late into the season and his career. Kirk?! Kirk Cousins is out there killing it with a repaired achillies tendon? SHEEESH they tearing it out there. Since power rankings don't matter it would be A REAL SHAME if they didn't go to the championship game. REAL SHAME. |
Je Ne Saquon | Este equipo podría ganarlo todo, sólo tiene que mantener el rumbo. |
Daddy | Course could this team all it just gotta stay the win. |
Diddler | Go team! They have a chance to win it all. |
Milky Cream Dream Team | I am Groot. |
Scumper's Thumpers | Potential contenders just need to make sure they stay on the right path. |
Squirtn Manning | ʻAʻole hiki i kēia hui ke lanakila i nā mea a pau. Manaʻolana ʻaʻole lākou e pau i ka hope. |
Dictator Dean | Wet Band-Aid in a pool. |
The Whittakers | Stapler in jello. |
Default Team Name | This team cannot win it all. Hopefully they don't finish in last. |
Hiff Clangers | Probably gonna finish in last. |
Crit's Thoughts
This year the league is like Baclava, there's about a handful of us that are good for about 4 weeks of the year, and then there's Branden whose first win is like me with a project around the house.... I keep saying it'll happen but so far, nothing.
Guest Picker: Penis Maurer
Diddler Vs. Cumbacks
Diddler, if he loses to me that's so bad, I'm probably the worst team not named Branden.
Diddler Vs. Cumbacks
0%Diddler
0%Cumbacks
Scumper's Thumpers Vs. Hiff Clangers
See my first review, Thumpers by 100. Cue Fortnite L dance
Scumper's Thumpers Vs. Hiff Clangers
0%Scumper's Thumpers
0%Hiff Clangers
Milky Cream Dream Team Vs. Fuck Chris Fuckface Spray
Beef takes this, Cream is my enemy at the moment.
Milky Cream Dream Team Vs. Fuck Chris Fuckface Spray
0%Milky Cream Dream Team
0%Fuck Chris Fuckface Spray
Squirtin' Manning Vs. Je Ne Saquon
Saquon because Squirtin' talks ill of my family.
Squirtin' Manning Vs. Je Ne Saquon
0%Squirtin' Manning
0%Je Ne Saquon
Diggs 4 Puka Shells Vs. Raise Hell Praise Dale
Eric because Crit doesn't know obscure sports history off the brain.
Diggs 4 Puka Shells Vs. Raise Hell Praise Dale
0%Diggs 4 Puka Shells
0%Raise Hell Praise Dale
Daddy Vs. Bruce's Play-Thing
I hate them both tbh so I'm going Joey. Dean doesn't even know football rules.
Daddy Vs. Bruce's Play-Thing
0%Daddy
0%Bruce's Play-Thing
Picker Rankings
Majorie (5-1)
1.Nick Vichinsky (5-1)
2. Sabrina Carpenter (4-2)
2. Rachel Prowse (4-2)
2.Allyson Maurer (4-2)
2.Molly Rider-Vichinsky (4-2)
2. Stephen Pepps (4-2)
Katie (3-3)
4. Shane Gillis (1-4-1)
Fantasy Meme of the Week
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